My Bum's on Main Street

What do you do when it is 100 degrees outside and you need to cool off? You go to a nice lunch out where you expect a good meal, some relief from the heat, and some good conversation. What do you not expect to get? Flashed by me. Sorry people at Bocceli’s ☺ and people on the sidewalk. And people at Café Delirium. And people at Sunny Hans. And yep, you, getting your pedicure. I tripped. I fell. I flashed. I stood. I continued flashing. My 5 seconds of fame. Mental note…undergarments are a crucial accessory to any outfit. There are people on Gresham’s Main Street whose eyes are still burning. My knee is skinned. My dignity destroyed. I can only hope there were no Wilkes families dining today. Not how I want to make a first impression.

Day 17

He Said:

Yesterday was an amazing day. My life will be forever changed for the better.

Today I woke up early and proceeded to pack up the stuff for our trip north. We had planned on being at a motorcycle shop right when it opened up at nine. Much to my surprise, we were in fact at the shop when it opened. She and I were still grinning ear to ear.

Of course, nothing ever goes exactly as planned, and the shop ended up not having the correct chain after all, despite me double checking the day before. We showed up and this guy behind the counter still insisted that that they had it, and proceeded to look everywhere for the right size. Unfortunately, he had no luck and I was forced to buy a chain from a shop down the road. I say "unfortunate" because, despite their somewhat unorganized style, I really liked the shop guys.

I drove to the other shop, only to be greeted with the most expensive chain on the market. Oh well, it was the only one available in Vegas at the time, so I swallowed my frustration and purchased the chain. I then drove back to the original shop for them to throw it on for me. I would rather give them the business than the other shop.

We finally got the chain on and were ready to leave town by 11:30 or so. The goal was to get as close to Tahoe as possible, but that wouldn't be as easy as it looked on the map, especially after getting such a late start. Our first stop was in Beaty, at this cool candy shop. We devoured some ice cream and drank some much needed water.

Death Valley was too close to pass up, so we headed west. It was hot. That is actually an understatement, but let's just leave it at hot. The best part is that when we finally reached the lowest point, the clouds rolled in and provided us with some welcomed cover from the blistering sun. We were delighted.

After crossing the valley and having a great lunch at a small resort, we reached Highway 395 and our home for the next several hours. It was getting late though, and we didn't want to be driving too long after the sun went down. We continued north, through Bishop and some other fantastic little towns, past the enterance to Yosemite National Park, and further north to Carson City, NV. We landed in another Best Western and fell asleep excited about seeing Lake Tahoe the following day.

Day 16

He Said:

Whoever said that Vegas is the town that never sleeps, doesn't know me. I fell right to sleep after a long day on the bike and a busy day in Vegas planning our wedding. We were both a little under the weather and still working on rehydrating our bodies from the day's event. Sleep came pretty much instantly.

We woke up refreshed and ready to scour the city over for the clothes that would complete our wedding day dress. I was in search of new jeans, as the one pair I brought with me could now stand up on their own. The bug guts alone on them add fifteen pounds to me. She was in search of a nice white fluffy skirt to wear with her new white "bride" tank top.

Eventually we both found what we were looking for at the Fashion Mall on the strip. The whole day was spent holding hands and feeling very giddy about the ceremony we had planned for eight 'o clock at the A Special Memory chapel. I was so happy, despite the suffocating heat.

At 5:00pm, we were still out and about on the strip. Now, we had arranged for the limo to pick us up at 7:30 and my beautiful fiance wanted to have time to get ready. We hurried back to our room and began preparing ourselves for the best part of our trip.

The driver was right on time and he helped us into the limo. She looked so amazing in her tank and skirt. I was so excited. The driver was a very nice guy who had actually dated a girl in Portland. His conversation helped calm my surprisingly nervous self. It isn't everyday that you commit to loving the one person in this world that makes you feel so amazing. I was thrilled to be where we were:)

After we met the people who would be involved in the actual ceremony, we were whisked away in the limo again and into the drive thru lane. Yep, it was a drive thru wedding chapel. How perfect! We rolled up to the window and met the Jose Castro, the man who would be joining us in holy matrimony. He too was quite the character, with what appeared to be several prison tattoos on his arms. He ended up being wonderful.

The ceremony itself was very simple and laid back, just what we were looking for. She was amazing and I loved every minute of it. The pictures were fun and they turned out great. The whole thing was nothing short of perfect!

When the ceremony and photos were complete, our driver drove us down the strip. We had smiles from ear to ear. It was so awesome.

She Said:

All the details from above are exactly right. We spent the day shopping and ended the day with the perfect ceremony. Only a few details to add...

After the ceremony we decided to let everyone in on the little fun we had. We sent a text which included a picture of us- Travis in a groom t-shirt and me in a veil. We even took it twice to ensure the proper angle on the evidence. Also included in the text were the words "We took the plunge." Pretty clear, right? Wrong. What we got back were a swirl of questions and confusion. The responses ranged from "what?" to "nice pic." All a little confusing. Apparently we weren't as explicit as we needed to be. Finally, with a little help in interpretation (Thanks Jason) and some back and forth texting, everyone was informed. They all seemed thrilled at the thought of us being together forever. No one could be more delighted with the idea than the two of us.

Since we were feeling so lucky in love, we decided to try our hand at the slot machines. Don't get excited- we were playing the 2 cent machines. There were a few moments where Travis and I were both up on our cash. We were feeling extra lucky and decided to move to the quarter machines. I am sure I don't have to tell all you gamblin folk, but there is a little trick to these machines. You see, they say they are 1cent, 2 cent, or 25 cents, but really you have the option of playing the minimum bet or going for the gold with the maximum bet. We usually play maximum bet knowing you have to "bet big to win big!" but we were on the 25 cent machine and were feeling a little more conservative of our precious coins. Travis asked me to pick the winning machine. I enthusiastically pointed to a very patriotic "7's" machine. This one was HOT I could tell. Actually, I had a cold and my stomach hurt so I chose the machine closest to me minimizing any movement. He nodded in approval and sat down on the leather chair. For those of you who do not frequent the slots I must also mention that you no longer get the satisfaction of dropping the coins in one by one and hearing the delightful ding of acceptance. Instead you have to feed the machine your dollar bills or a pay slip which holds your carry over from the last machine. Doesn't really matter to the story, but noteable disappointment in the experience. Ok....he sits. He inserts pay slip. He pushes button (don't even get me started). He pushed button again. and again. and again. We fall silent. Appearing before our eyes is the lucky 7,7,7, three sevens in a row!!!! We scan the above explanation and see in huge letters 777 pay out $100!!!! We cheer! We roar! We hug!!!!!!! and wait? No cling, cling. The machine is silent. A jam? No, just the reminder that we were too cheap to pay maximum bet. Instead of $100 we got nuttin. We stared at it for quite some time.

In the end, the day was a success. Who needs $100 when you have just captured the love of your life.

Day 15

He Said:

It was a hard day on the bike on day 14, through some of the hottest weather yet. It was a relief to finally get to Flagstaff and that much closer to the Grand Canyon.

We got up kinda early, at least for us on this trip, and we were off and rolling at seven or so. A nice guy at the gas station told us that it was about an hour and a half to the Canyon via the more scenic route. He was spot on and the scenery was "grand" (no pun intended). We sailed through the entrance and went straight to the edge.

She was a bit nervous about standing close to the sheer drop off, but I convinced her that I would not push her off and we snapped a few photos and pushed on to the gift shops. I found the necessary stickers and we headed off to the market to begin hydrating for the day.

After a few more photos we began the relatively short trip of approximately 300 miles to Las Vegas and to what would become the most important stop on our journey. I use the terms "approximately" and "short" very loosely as per usual. In fact, the trip was more like a four hundred mile death march across the sun. I am pretty sure my feet were burned, even through the leather boots I had on.

Crossing the Hoover Dam was the most miserable experience of my life. We were both roasting. I won't even tell you about the sweat that was dripping off my arse. She was having a very rough go of it and was very dehydrated. I would feel the same in Vegas itself. Once we finally made it across the dam, we stopped at the first gas station for some water. Apparently drinking too much water too fast isn't a good thing. I felt horrible.

After shrugging off the ill effects of the hot rock in sky, we unloaded our bags from the bike and checked into the Monte Carlo for the night. It is very fun to be the one couple who look like they have been living on the streets for the last three weeks. Everyone else is so made up and dressed up and here we are in torn, stained jeans and dripping sweat from odd places. Oh well.

Once we entered Vegas, I intentionally turned our SPOT tracking device off. More on why later. Let's just say that it may have been a bad idea and Her dad was very concerned about where we were, if we were ok and if there was anything he could do to help. My family was equally concerned. They just didn't call, text, or email me to check in. Thanks family. (kidding)

OK. So, here's the deal. She and I were going to get married in Vegas!!! Yep, and no one knew about it. Crazy, right? Anyway, we had to go to the Clark County building to get the marriage license. Now you know why I had to turn the SPOT device off. I could just see Her dad checking in on our progress and seeing where we were. I can only imaging the phone calls pleading for her to change her mind and to not go through with it. Little did he know that I had actually already taken the battery out of her phone. Brilliant.

We went into the building and filled out the appropriate paperwork. It is surprisingly easy to get married in Vegas. Who knew? Haha.

After filling the papers out, we went up to the counter and began the hilarious process of getting all of our information into the system. I only say hilarious because of the Eastern European man entering it into the computer. He had this amazing monotone voice that instantly made anyone within fifty feet sleepy, but better than this was his thick accent. I tried to follow along with where to sign and what we had to do, but it was tough and I was glad to have Her there with me. She was able to complete the necessary steps and to move us forward in our scheming.

Once the formalities at the County building were done, we headed back to the hotel. Our plan was to get married that night, but to be honest, we were in no shape to do this. In fact, after a few pulls of the slots, we headed to the mall to look for some appropriate Vegas wedding attire. Eventually we made it to the "Biggest Souvenir Shop in the World". Here we found some t-shirts that said "Bride" and "Groom". Perfect.

After the souvenir shop we were spent and didn't have the energy to go through with the big event, nor the wedding chapel. We decided it would be best to get hitched the following day and to stay another day in Sin City.

She Said:

The Grand Canyon- what a sight! I know all of these places are said to be amazing and have pictures plastered over everything calming their glory, but actually standing there looking into this seemingly never ending crack in the earth is truly breathtaking. Not only is the sight of the canyon amazing, the town is hopping with fun and more fun. Shops, resorts, lodges, lounges, hiking- anything you would need for a terrific vacation. Like many of the places we have visited this trip, I will be back. I will hike to the bottom. I will, however, not bring my three year old like some have this delightful day. If you need to know my opinion read the blog below about Rushmore. In one slogan- Save the Children!!!!

After our beautiful start to the day we were off to Vegas. Yes! I was so excited. I was ready to tackle the mileage giving "whatever it takes" to make it to our next destination. I knew it would be the most memorable event of the trip. I was already thinking about how we were gonna pull this all off considering our limited amount of time and materials. Anyway, had I known "whatever it takes" could potentially mean my last moments on earth, I may have reconsidered my commitment. Highway 93 will never again see the likes of me. It is a death trail. It was hot and miserable to begin the last 100 miles, but I have kicked 100 miles in the face more than once this trip. I was ready and wanted to push ahead. We began winding up a huge mountain just to get to the top and find miles of construction. This was not the kind you pass slowing down a bit and feeling sorry for the hot sweaty men/women holding the signs, this was the kind where you had to come to a complete stop while those torturous creatures with signs and bottled water watched you burn in your own little helmet hell. Bastards. Needless to say, it was a bit uncomfortable. After several stops at the peek of the mountain we began our descend at a whopping 10 miles per hour. I was dying. I took my helmet off anticipating vomiting, fainting, or my slow demise. I know riding without helmet is a huge risk- I didn't care. I needed air and water. I had some hope as we rounded a corner to see the dam. I could see it. I would continue to see it for the next hour or so as I dwindled into hysterics.

The problem here on the dam my friends are the "dam" visitors!!! You do not need to take a picture from the middle of the road. You do not need to stop your car in the middle of the street for a pic (pay the parking fee you cheap bastards!). You certainly do not need to participate in the last minute (frequent) crossing one by one (get in groups!!!). I 've considered sending these "suggestions" on to the dam visiting center as a helpful hint :) I didn't look over the dam. Take that!

Finally, we entered Vegas. There was more serious scares of vomiting in my helmet on I-15. Luckily, we made our destination and on to get our marriage license. This was in an air conditioned building which is about all I remember. I was delirious. Our usual persona, more like Mr. and Mrs. Happy, was missing. We sluggishly approached the counter and somehow got the paperwork filled out. I think the staff had their doubts about our state of mind. Luckily, we made this big decision B.H.E (before heat exhaustion). In fact, I think it is the best decision I have ever made. Marriage license in hand, we moved on to the Monte Carlo and a superb night in Vegas. My stomach never really recovered, which would explain why I only had one beer that night.

The only detail missing in the above entry occurred at approx 12:30am. You know how Trav and I get wild hairs. Well this my friend was one of those. We had our "Bride" and "Groom" shirts and paperwork and were ready to get hitched (at 12:30am mind you). This is Vegas right? The land of last minute crazy fun and 24hr wedding chapels. So I looked up a place and made the phone call. I am pretty sure she answered the phone in bed. Whatever, it is Vegas. I asked if we could get married. She asked, "when." I said, " now." She said, " no." Apparently their 24 hour advertisement was a Vegas exaggeration. Oops. Maybe I am a bit too literal for "Cupid Chapel." It is a good thing because the perfect wedding was yet to come....

Day 13 and 14

He Said:

After spending a delightful evening in what must be one of the scariest parts of Little Rock, Arkansas, we headed out early. Nothing much to report on though, as today was just a travel day. Lots of breaks and lots of water. The goal was to make it to Amarillo, TX for the night. We rode through some cool country in Oklahoma and sweated our way through Eastern Texas. The only cool part of the day was stopping at a fantastic Cherokee Indian Trading Post. She will discuss this mini-adventure below.

We made it 30 miles outside of Amarillo, when the sky turned gray and threatening. We pulled over to put on our rain gear and then hit the highway again. Amazingly, it only rained for about ten minutes, but the lightning show went on all night. It was very cool.

Day 14 was yet another long travel day. The plan was to make it to the Grand Canyon, or somewhere close. It's funny how the mileage never seems to be the same on the atlas as it is in real life. The day seemed to go on forever and the heat was difficult to ride in.

Eventually we made it to Flagstaff and called it a day. Grand Canyon tomorrow!!!

She Said:

Lots of traveling these two days which Travis has pretty much covered, so I will just get to the important stuff...

At this point in the trip we knew there was a strong possibility we would get hitched in Vegas. We had made a promise that we would get married if we saw a wedding chapel anywhere during our trip. As soon as we made the decision to head south we started to hear wedding bells. We were both very excited to see how a Vegas impromptu wedding might unfold. We knew there were a few essential items needed to pull this off. One of which was a temporary ring for Travis. As luck would have it we ended up stopping at a terrific store that had just the right one. Travis picked it up off the shelf because it looked like a regular thick square brushed silver ring. He tried it on and we both thought it looked great. A closer inspection revealed the true bonus to this wondrous item- an engraved image of a spider web with a heart (see below). Hahahah! Now we had to buy it! It was the perfect ring and only 8.99. The image was engraved and outlined in black. Travis took care of the black outline using a metal brush at the local Walmart. Luckily, he has a real wedding ring waiting for him at home :) but this one comes with a better story. One step closer to the big event!

Pictures

Here are some pics of our trip. We have been having some difficulties posting them into our blog itself, so we've created an album on Picasa for your viewing pleasure. We have many more pics that we will share later on. Here is the link. Just drag the mouse over the link and push the button dad.

http://picasaweb.google.com/grilledcheeseanda20

Day 12

He Said:

OK, where were we...oh yes, Nashville. So, we hung out in the glam of Nashville for the evening, staying up late, drinking, and listening to some fantastic music. It was a great night. Tootsies is a fantastic place to soak up the night life that country music created long ago. I can't wait to go back.

After such a late night, we were forced to sleep in a bit. Ok, I guess we have yet to get going before ten, but it sounds better to have an excuse anyway. Once we hit the pavement (not literally moms), we busted out the three hundred or so miles to Memphis, TN and to the most beautiful place on earth, Graceland.

Once we arrived we were greeted with some of the craziest rain I have ever seen. We are talking rain that instantly soaked everything we had. We rushed to the lockers, only to find that the first one we tried wouldn't work. I was frustrated, hot, and dripping with the before mentioned downpour, and She was calm and cool. Eventually we found a couple of lockers that worked alright and we jammed our belongings into them and took off in search of Elvis memorabilia. After wandering around for a bit, we took the marvelous tour of Graceland itself. So interesting to see what luxury was back in the day.

The weather improved slightly and we left Elvis's house and took off for Little Rock, Arkansa

She Said:

Nashville was a terrific time. I highly recommend a trip to Tootsies if you find yourself in that area. Coupled with Jack's Bar-B-Q and you've got yourself a perfect evening.

On to Memphis...Yep, there was rain and a lot of it. We actually weren't going to take the tour, but since we had to wait out the downpour, we decided to. I can't believe the luxury that was the 70's. Graceland is like a timecapsule- a snapshot of a different time. I loved it!

Just one little incident threatened to overshadow the experience- a hair. Actually, two hairs. We decided to get a snack as we wandered through the gift shops. I couldn't wait to bite into my butter pecan two scoop cone, but being the cautious person I have become after my recent food experience, I decided to use a spoon. I scooped a chunk of ice cream and enjoyed every bit of it's smooth creaminess. The second hunk on the spoon unveiled something of concern- a short course black hair. I showed it to Travis, who suggested it might just be one of mine. What? Apparently he hasn't taken extreme notice to my hair color and texture. Anyway, I decide to spoon out the area around the hair and countinue on, except, this scoop revealed another hair. That was it. I had to abandon the delightful treat. I felt sorry for myslef, thinking why does this always happen to me? Then I realized...it couldn't be just me. I just happen to be attentive to such details. I looked around and contemplated the idea of ripping the ice cream out of the hands of all the satisfied consumers. I wanted to save them all from the horror of pulling the hair from their throat or between their teeth. Instead I just watched them enjoy their ice cream and let them go on with their day. They will probably cough a hairball later. I feel just a little guilty.