Day 15

He Said:

It was a hard day on the bike on day 14, through some of the hottest weather yet. It was a relief to finally get to Flagstaff and that much closer to the Grand Canyon.

We got up kinda early, at least for us on this trip, and we were off and rolling at seven or so. A nice guy at the gas station told us that it was about an hour and a half to the Canyon via the more scenic route. He was spot on and the scenery was "grand" (no pun intended). We sailed through the entrance and went straight to the edge.

She was a bit nervous about standing close to the sheer drop off, but I convinced her that I would not push her off and we snapped a few photos and pushed on to the gift shops. I found the necessary stickers and we headed off to the market to begin hydrating for the day.

After a few more photos we began the relatively short trip of approximately 300 miles to Las Vegas and to what would become the most important stop on our journey. I use the terms "approximately" and "short" very loosely as per usual. In fact, the trip was more like a four hundred mile death march across the sun. I am pretty sure my feet were burned, even through the leather boots I had on.

Crossing the Hoover Dam was the most miserable experience of my life. We were both roasting. I won't even tell you about the sweat that was dripping off my arse. She was having a very rough go of it and was very dehydrated. I would feel the same in Vegas itself. Once we finally made it across the dam, we stopped at the first gas station for some water. Apparently drinking too much water too fast isn't a good thing. I felt horrible.

After shrugging off the ill effects of the hot rock in sky, we unloaded our bags from the bike and checked into the Monte Carlo for the night. It is very fun to be the one couple who look like they have been living on the streets for the last three weeks. Everyone else is so made up and dressed up and here we are in torn, stained jeans and dripping sweat from odd places. Oh well.

Once we entered Vegas, I intentionally turned our SPOT tracking device off. More on why later. Let's just say that it may have been a bad idea and Her dad was very concerned about where we were, if we were ok and if there was anything he could do to help. My family was equally concerned. They just didn't call, text, or email me to check in. Thanks family. (kidding)

OK. So, here's the deal. She and I were going to get married in Vegas!!! Yep, and no one knew about it. Crazy, right? Anyway, we had to go to the Clark County building to get the marriage license. Now you know why I had to turn the SPOT device off. I could just see Her dad checking in on our progress and seeing where we were. I can only imaging the phone calls pleading for her to change her mind and to not go through with it. Little did he know that I had actually already taken the battery out of her phone. Brilliant.

We went into the building and filled out the appropriate paperwork. It is surprisingly easy to get married in Vegas. Who knew? Haha.

After filling the papers out, we went up to the counter and began the hilarious process of getting all of our information into the system. I only say hilarious because of the Eastern European man entering it into the computer. He had this amazing monotone voice that instantly made anyone within fifty feet sleepy, but better than this was his thick accent. I tried to follow along with where to sign and what we had to do, but it was tough and I was glad to have Her there with me. She was able to complete the necessary steps and to move us forward in our scheming.

Once the formalities at the County building were done, we headed back to the hotel. Our plan was to get married that night, but to be honest, we were in no shape to do this. In fact, after a few pulls of the slots, we headed to the mall to look for some appropriate Vegas wedding attire. Eventually we made it to the "Biggest Souvenir Shop in the World". Here we found some t-shirts that said "Bride" and "Groom". Perfect.

After the souvenir shop we were spent and didn't have the energy to go through with the big event, nor the wedding chapel. We decided it would be best to get hitched the following day and to stay another day in Sin City.

She Said:

The Grand Canyon- what a sight! I know all of these places are said to be amazing and have pictures plastered over everything calming their glory, but actually standing there looking into this seemingly never ending crack in the earth is truly breathtaking. Not only is the sight of the canyon amazing, the town is hopping with fun and more fun. Shops, resorts, lodges, lounges, hiking- anything you would need for a terrific vacation. Like many of the places we have visited this trip, I will be back. I will hike to the bottom. I will, however, not bring my three year old like some have this delightful day. If you need to know my opinion read the blog below about Rushmore. In one slogan- Save the Children!!!!

After our beautiful start to the day we were off to Vegas. Yes! I was so excited. I was ready to tackle the mileage giving "whatever it takes" to make it to our next destination. I knew it would be the most memorable event of the trip. I was already thinking about how we were gonna pull this all off considering our limited amount of time and materials. Anyway, had I known "whatever it takes" could potentially mean my last moments on earth, I may have reconsidered my commitment. Highway 93 will never again see the likes of me. It is a death trail. It was hot and miserable to begin the last 100 miles, but I have kicked 100 miles in the face more than once this trip. I was ready and wanted to push ahead. We began winding up a huge mountain just to get to the top and find miles of construction. This was not the kind you pass slowing down a bit and feeling sorry for the hot sweaty men/women holding the signs, this was the kind where you had to come to a complete stop while those torturous creatures with signs and bottled water watched you burn in your own little helmet hell. Bastards. Needless to say, it was a bit uncomfortable. After several stops at the peek of the mountain we began our descend at a whopping 10 miles per hour. I was dying. I took my helmet off anticipating vomiting, fainting, or my slow demise. I know riding without helmet is a huge risk- I didn't care. I needed air and water. I had some hope as we rounded a corner to see the dam. I could see it. I would continue to see it for the next hour or so as I dwindled into hysterics.

The problem here on the dam my friends are the "dam" visitors!!! You do not need to take a picture from the middle of the road. You do not need to stop your car in the middle of the street for a pic (pay the parking fee you cheap bastards!). You certainly do not need to participate in the last minute (frequent) crossing one by one (get in groups!!!). I 've considered sending these "suggestions" on to the dam visiting center as a helpful hint :) I didn't look over the dam. Take that!

Finally, we entered Vegas. There was more serious scares of vomiting in my helmet on I-15. Luckily, we made our destination and on to get our marriage license. This was in an air conditioned building which is about all I remember. I was delirious. Our usual persona, more like Mr. and Mrs. Happy, was missing. We sluggishly approached the counter and somehow got the paperwork filled out. I think the staff had their doubts about our state of mind. Luckily, we made this big decision B.H.E (before heat exhaustion). In fact, I think it is the best decision I have ever made. Marriage license in hand, we moved on to the Monte Carlo and a superb night in Vegas. My stomach never really recovered, which would explain why I only had one beer that night.

The only detail missing in the above entry occurred at approx 12:30am. You know how Trav and I get wild hairs. Well this my friend was one of those. We had our "Bride" and "Groom" shirts and paperwork and were ready to get hitched (at 12:30am mind you). This is Vegas right? The land of last minute crazy fun and 24hr wedding chapels. So I looked up a place and made the phone call. I am pretty sure she answered the phone in bed. Whatever, it is Vegas. I asked if we could get married. She asked, "when." I said, " now." She said, " no." Apparently their 24 hour advertisement was a Vegas exaggeration. Oops. Maybe I am a bit too literal for "Cupid Chapel." It is a good thing because the perfect wedding was yet to come....